WHO WE ARE
Welcome to What's Grup, the newest lifestyle shopping experience. Using trained brand-love techniques, we have imagineered a store that satisfies you beyond your wildest dreamz! You've recently moved to Park Slope -- but you love the New Pornographers. Unlike parents for the past 80,000 years of humanity (who must never have enjoyed themselves because they weren't as cool), you see yourself as different because you still love music and bicycles while continuing to breed, ensuring this planet is on its way to a dead, polluted globe much earlier than if you decided to simply not have kids! Congratulations to you; your commitment to stainless steel and bamboo and other eco-conscious consumptive habits surely place you in the top one percent of cool people in the planet.
Well, we're with you - Sure, there are already yoga mats for babies, stainless steel stainless steel detectors (run on stainless steel batteries), bamboo plasma televisions, and cyborg dogs (preferably yellow labradors, american staffordshire, and the like) made out of bamboo and stainless steel available at your local 5th, 6th and 7th avenue stores.
But What's Grup is different. We care. We know you're too cool for those (but your baby's security, comfort, and consumption habits are really important) so we're here to offer you a total shopping experience. Please enjoy our products. And our tall-bikes display.
OUR PHILOSOPHY
What's Grup is committed to fig leaves. And as such, we promise that we will only order from companies whose labor and environmental relationships satisfy our own high standards -- unless the design of the product is too good, and the price too compelling, in which case we will it offer it anyway. Otherwise, we will only purchase from companies that pay a living wage -- but if the workers at these companies actually attempt to have some political agency (try to start a union, demand less sexual harassement in the workplace) we at What's Grup promise to sever ties. Quickly and thoroughly. Because at What's Grup, placating your nagging guilt is priority one. Below our priorities of high style for lower prices. And make sure to pick up our disposable stainless steel coffee cups at any of our stores!
Also, What's Grup pledges to give .00002% of our yearly profits to local community endeavors. Usually high-priced bistros owned by our friends. "Because at What's Grup, we care."
